What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize