The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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