did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
