That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You dont lie about slip and slides
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have fence marks all over my body
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
