Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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