he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
