This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My ass is underappreciated
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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