he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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