I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
