I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
