Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
