Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
