the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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