Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
