I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
