Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
