is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How does one acquire holy water?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
