More tranny stories later!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm passing your future prison.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
