I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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