I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
