I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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