I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
