Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
