Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I am one with the molecules
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
