The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm gonna fight the coyote
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
