At least make sure they are 18
Why
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
