3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How does one acquire holy water?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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