Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
