I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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