I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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