y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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