And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
