Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
