Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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