This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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