..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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