this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
