did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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