Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
