If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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