the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
