She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
