its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
