I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
