We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize