It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
