can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
