It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
