Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
