The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
