i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just google imaged poop.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
