Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
