Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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