I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We talked him into tasing himself.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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