how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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