Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You ruined the universe
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
